Hey Recruiters: Y U No Listen to Me...

When I tell you how to do your job?

See this face?

Yeah this face right here...

Scary Face: I'm not your personal tech support by disgruntled_genius

It is very similar to the face I made when one of you stalked me to my current job and hung up on the receptionist when she asked why you were calling...

Seriously, did we not just talk about this stuff?

And sending me text messages? When I don't know you? Do you know what I think when an unknown number pops up on my phone?

Who is this person? Why are they contacting me? Is someone trying to hack my phone or steal my bank account information?

Recently, recruiters have turned to the tactics of telemarketers and spammers by doing "job spam" email blasts to anyone with a pulse. But this just creates unnecessary work for everyone now that such a large number of people are desperate for a (better) job. In the past, you would just ignore an email about a job that was out in left field. But now, people will throw their resumes at anything in the hope that something will stick. Then the recruiter has to deal with a deluge of unqualified candidates. But this assumes that they are actually trying to fill a real position...

Here's what would be much more effective: actually reading a candidate's resume and only sending him or her positions that make sense. And don't forget to include a complete job description, salary information, and location details in your initial communications!

Now this is mainly for IT recruiters. The rest of you are on your own...

Website Development is a DIV Eat DIV Career Choice

Website development is a competitive career choice by disgruntled_genius

An open letter to job candidates

Dear Candidates:

If you are coming to an interview for a technical position, be prepared for a technical assessment. Assume that one is going to be given even if no one has explicitly told you to prepare for it. If nothing else, you will sound much more intelligent answering the standard interview questions.

Now as a database professional, I have some special advice for people seeking SQL centric positions:

Know RDBMS fundamentals like the back of your hand. 

I don't care what your job title is; I expect you to have this is basic knowledge. Don't tell me: "I'm a report writer; I don't need to know that normalization stuff." Yes you do. How can I trust your results if you don't understand and know how to correct for the anomalies 1NF produces. If your resume says that you use SQL, you need to actually know how to use it and be able to prove that to me.

The secret to working with high class "talent"

I fear that the word "arrogance" is about to raise its head again...

But at my career level, the commission for a recruiter (or more likely the firm) is going to be around $20K. For that amount of money, I feel that I should get something for salary I am giving up.

Some guy I don't know (but who is apparently big SQL stuff) named James Serra wrote a very excellent post from the standpoint of a candidate in the recruiting process. While I agree with most of his points, our different needs and lifestyles mean that we don't necessarily want to same thing from a job. So here is my own interpretation of some of his rules:

• Don’t call first. Send me an email...

This is why my phone number is not even listed on my resume. With the number of calls I get, I'd need a personal assistant to actually keep up. There are 20 unheard messages in my inbox right now. And that's after I cleaned it up this morning... I can weed out a recruiter very quickly over email, but voicemail takes work. There are two things that get you deleted immediately: being from out of town and sending me bad positions. More on that second one later. The problem with out of town recruiters is that they don't know local culture, market conditions, or geography. These things are very important.

• When you do email, send a description of the job, and indicate the pay rate and job location, start date and contract length...

After job duties, location, and salary are the two most important things for me to know. And if the job if is more than 15 mins from my house, I really not interested. A downtown location is really not a plus for me.

• Read my resume…

Seriously, just because I have .net and cf on my resume doesn't make me a developer in those languages. My role is to work along side them, not in them. This will also make me delete your message immediately.

• Don’t send me full-time exempt positions. I am only interested in contract positions...

I am actually the exact opposite on this one. Until Congress decides on a national health care system, I need access to an affordable group medical insurance plan so full-time direct hire only please. And none of that "contract to hire" crap. COBRA is around $500 a month...

• Don’t call my home phone. I wish I could figure out how some of you get that number.

Double seriously on this. And don't just call and hang up; I have caller ID.

• Don’t ask me to come to your office so you can meet me. Offer to buy me lunch at a place close to me...

I have only had one recruiter meet me a location convenient to me. She's one of the two I still talk to and refer others to regularly...

• Don’t ask for my resume unless you have an actual position you are recruiting for...

Actually, don't ask for my resume at all... You have my resume already. It is how you contacted me in the first place. It didn't change overnight...

Friday Free For All

Turn your sound up!

My SOPA Story... #StopSOPA

Think that SOPA/PIPA won't affect you? Sit back, and I will tell you the tale* of "The Project Manager Who Couldn't Get a SharePoint Report".

The star of this story is T., the project manager, but the story does not begin with her. It starts with J., the developer who needed a tiny, little snippet of vbscript...

9:00AM Anytown, USA
J: SOPA!!!...  
<insert sound of snickering coworkers.>

9:30AM Anytown, USA
T: Good morning, J. 
J: Ha! 
T: What's wrong? 
J: You know that SharePoint report you had me create? 
T: Oh, yes. Management is very impressed by what you have done so far and is anxious to see the latest changes. 
J: Well it won't be today. 
T: Why not? 
J: SOPA. 
T: Sofa? You are sick on the sofa? 
J: No, SOPA. The legislation in congress that threatens the free expression of ideas on the Internet including the snippet of code I need to finish this report. 
T: SOPA!!!... 
J: Yes...
T: Well, what can I do? 
J: Educate yourself about SOPA & PIPA and then take action to prevent them. Google has a link on its homepage about the danger these bills pose to the Internet as we know it.

9:45AM Anytown, USA
T: This stuff is not right! Thanks for telling me about it. I'm going to send my representative a message right now.
J: Great! But you still aren't getting that report until tomorrow. 
T: Curses.

*Although the names were changed, this actually did happen today during the SOPA/PIPA protest site blackouts. Imagine how much worse it could be if sites were permanently lost...

That's what happens when you hire "yes men"

 Ever find yourself with that "why does it feel like I have to do everything myself" feeling? It's your own fault.

What management does when filling an open position:
finds someone who seems manageable and who won't make a lot of trouble by trying to change the way things are done.

What management should do:
find someone who will advocate for the best option even when it means that the boat will get rocked.

The trials of deskside support...

Signs you need a new computer 3 by egogenius
View other Twisted humor T-Shirts

Young Grasshopper, You Still Have a Lot to Learn

They call me Mr. Tibbs...

Not really. Because that wouldn't make any sense.  But some do call me arrogant. And with cause I suppose. I once had someone who interviewed me for a job tell me later, much later, that he felt like he was the one being interviewed. (Yeah guy, sorry about that...)

Not to brag excessively or anything (a little bragging is OK), but I have a unique and highly desired (by some) skill set. One of my New Years to do items was to update my resume and post a fresh copy of it on Dice (if you are in IT don't waste time on Careerbuilder or Monster). This led to a flood of emails, phone calls, and Linkedin invitations from various local and not so local IT recruiters. This actually happens every time I update my resume. And is why I list a PO box and use a throw away email. (Right now, my boss is crying but he can't figure out why...)

But despite this popularity, I never allow myself to become complacent. The true height of arrogance in an IT professional is thinking that you have nothing to learn.  IT is about constant learning, knowledge sharing, and building on the work done before. Successful IT professionals devote some part of everyday to learning. And anyone who doesn't want to make this commitment should get out of the business.

Next time, we will discuss how listening to the words that come out of my mouth can improve your productivity.